A Little Sunshine Goes a Long Way

We've had some rather dreary and gloomy days so far in the month of March, but today is one of those perfect spring-like days where the sun is shining, the skies are blue, the temp is in the mid 70s, the trees and flowers are blooming and the birds are chirping.

I'm amazed at how much a bit of sun can do to improve my overall mood and energy level. I'm sitting here in my new office (of 2 days) and for the first time in a couple of years, I'm fortunate enough to have a window. I'm doing the same work I've been doing the last 10 years or so, but there's a smile on my face. So far today, I've been able to turn around from my computer and enjoy a robin, a gorgeous red cardinal and a mockingbird in the tree in front of my window. Just being able to glance up for a minute away from reports, invoices and emails and enjoy God's creation may seem like a small thing, but it's a gentle reminder to me that He is a wonderful and awesome God.

In this economy, I'm so thankful and grateful for a job....even more so for having a job which I enjoy and co-workers with whom I care about and am close to. And yes, I'm even thankful for my new office window and the little bit of sunshine that has done wonders for my morale today.

Girls Weekend

This past weekend Lindsey, my youngest, and I made the drive to Conway to see my eldest daughter, Casie. She's a pre-physical therapy major at UCA and in her junior year of college. A cold and rainy day changed our original plans, but once we got there, the 3 of us just rolled with it, and simply enjoyed being in each other's company. I probably enjoyed it way more than my two girls...I think as we age that we realize how quickly life goes by, and to savor every moment. Gone are the days of reading "Goodnight Moon" and "Brown Bear, Brown Bear". Gone are the days of Barbies and American Girls. So many of the rituals I enjoyed when they are younger have given way to new ones. But oh! What memories! And what new ones we continue to make! We enjoyed a great lunch at the San Francisco Bread Company, and a little bit of shopping. We came home and I helped Casie do some stacked-up laundry (typical college gal in that regard) while Linds played around on the computer. We decided to order supper in and we just chilled in her apartment, watching tv, talking, laughing our heads off, and working a jigsaw puzzle. We hung out in pj's and had a great time. I even let Linds give me a makeover...only to find out that she wanted me to look like a cast member of "Cats". It all went by way too quickly...but every moment was enjoyed and savored.

Grace

“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” - Anne Lamott

I am learning so much about God's grace in my life....it's so simple...always there...and yet, because of my own humanity and limited thinking, it still remains a mystery to me in some ways. What I am realizing more and more each year is that I need to analyze it less and simply accept it more. I can do nothing to earn it or deserve it...it's simply a beautiful gift that He freely gives. As the Chris Tomlin lyrics say:
"My chains are gone, I've been set free My God, my Savior has ransomed me And like a flood His mercy reigns Unending love, amazing grace"

I am set free...any chains that I have binding me now are of my own doing, and I am simply not realizing or maybe I'm resisting....but they (the chains) are GONE. And He has poured His unending love and AMAZING grace on me.

I remember as a child loving to play in the sprinkler....the giddy feeling I would get when the water just poured down on me. I want to stand in the waterfall of God's grace...and I want to have that childlike enthusiasm and joy as it pours over me.

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Wounded

I follow a blog called Journey Through Grace. Although I don't know Jayne, I am blessed by her pictures of her yard and the birds daily, and I enjoy her blogs. She has a quote on her page that has been there for some time, but really struck a chord deep within me today.

"It is said that grace enters the soul through a wound." Heather McDonald

I am a wounded person - as we all are. No one goes through life unscathed. Currently, old wounds have resurfaced, and there are plenty of new ones right now. There are some days when I feel that I'm bleeding out.

My prayer is that I will allow grace to enter my soul through my wound. I want fear, bitterness, and distrust to NOT seep in. In the midst of a painful year, I have felt God's grace more deeply than ever before. But I am feeling frightened and vulnerable right now. I don't any junk clogging up my emotions and my thoughts.

When others see me, I don't mind them seeing a woman who is a mess, yes, but more than that, I want them to see that I am living in grace. And that God's grace is good.

Warm Enough for the Hammock

We had a wonderful weekend weather-wise here, and it was a JOY to be able to run out into the backyard and settle into my favorite spot....the hammock.

The hammock where this summer I shed many tears, prayed many prayers, found healing, did some great soul searching, reading, talking to friends on the phone, and spent "girl time" with my daughters.

The backyard is far from pretty....no signs of green yet. But I did refill the bird feeders and found delight in all my feathered friends swooping in for a meal. Even though my grass is brown and my trees are bare, and the yard has that really depressing winter look to it....I found such joy and tranquility in my outdoor respite.

I didn't relax long in the hammock - Casie was home from college, Andy was around, and Lindsey had friends over all weekend...but I did manage to squeeze in a few minutes on both Saturday and Sunday. Enough for some wonderful time with God.....talking to Him, but mainly listening.

Maybe that is one reason I love the hammock so much. I seem to LISTEN better to the voice of God when I am in that spot. There are no distractions, and for some reason, my soul just seems to find rest quickly when I am there.

I am looking forward to more warm days and the upcoming spring. I am looking forward to my hammock time.