Encouragers

I received a wonderful facebook message this morning, as I have every day this week from one of the biggest encouragers I know. I've been blessed with some wonderful friends in my life, and one of the dearest to me is my sister-in-law and precious friend, Debbie. This is a picture of the two of us this summer when she came to visit. I still call her my sister-in-law, although years ago she went through a painful divorce with my brother-in-law, and now I'm going through one myself. However, when we were much younger and met through our connection of each having married into the Dougherty family, we bonded instantly and became lifelong friends, and we both still think of each other as family.

She and I have become each other's biggest encouragers over the years. We had learned we had things in common, and we loved talking about motherhood, arts and crafts, our love of the holidays, and family life together. However, in looking back, I see that our friendship really grew and flourished when she went through a very painful and difficult time. As her marriage began to have problems, we became closer. We corresponded, talked, prayed and cried together. My heart was breaking for her, and I wanted her to know that she was loved and I felt God's urging to really commit to being an encourager and prayer warrior for her. We kept up the closeness even as her marriage sadly ended in a divorce and she became a single mom. With every step she took, whether it was a step forward or a step backward, as so often happens in these storm in life, my respect and love for her grew. I saw a woman who was knocked down by life's events, but who kept getting up and pressing onward. Her faith in God to see her through hard times and His plan for her life amazed me.

As my marriage began to take a very similar path as hers, I looked to her as one of my biggest encouragers. I knew I could share anything with her, that she was a safe shoulder to cry on. Her unconditional love, friendship and support have been one of the biggest blessings in my life.

She and I are comfortable sharing laughter, tears, anger, frustrations, joy....you name it...we share it with one another. We've never lived geographically close except for a very brief period of time in the late 1980s. We've had to work and nurture a long distance friendship. But I'm so thankful that we have chosen to do just that.....I treasure every card, letter, gift, email, facebook message and visit we have shared.

She knows me so well, that she knew when my original hammock broke last summer, that I would be wanting a new one....after all, anyone who knows me, knows that my "hammock time" is where I unwind, where I pray, where I read, where I write, where I feel free to cry when I need to. It's my special spot. Imagine my surprise when I came home from work one day last summer and a large box was on my front porch....with a new hammock ready to be used. Without even seeing a card, I immediately knew who it came from.

Even more than any material gifts we've given back and forth over the years, the gifts of prayer and encouragement are what I treasure the most.

Today I'm grateful for:

1. The encouragers in my life.

2. Friendships that are nurtured and tended to.

3. Debbie.

I've been doing so much needed yardwork the last couple of days, and yardwork in August is not on my list of favorite things to do. It's hot, humid and everything is wilting. I usually wilt myself after just a few minutes.

Alot of flowers are past their blooming season, but my trumpet vine is as orange and vibrant as ever. I have a neighbor who insists its a weed, and deserves to be mowed down. He's even been known to mow down the trumpet vines on the outside of neighbors' fences, whether they want him to or not. If you can buy it in a plant catalog, I'd hardly say it's a weed. All I know is that it attracts the butterflies, and I have a feeling I might see more hummingbirds if it weren't for my jack russell who chases birds all over the place. It also brightens up a corner of my very weathered wooden fence. If my neighbor is correct and it is a weed...well, that's okay too. As a little girl, I would give my mother a bouquet of weeds and she would lovingly water them and place them in a vase or cup for display. Both of my girls have brought me flowering weeds over the years, and I've done the same thing....thanking them, hugging them, and lovingly placing them in a vase. My own girls are too grown to bring me weeds these days, but I hope to have grandchildren bringing me those precious treasures someday in the future.

Maybe the problem is no one has ever given my neighbor a weed bouquet. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder is a true saying....I'm just thankful that I've learned to look for the beauty around me. May my heart never stop melting at a pair of dirty little hands and a dirt covered face bringing me a weed bouquet, and may I always look for the everyday beauty in nature.

Today I am grateful for:

1. Trumpet vines....weed or flower.

2. Bouquets lovingly picked and delivered by dirty smiling faces.

3. The fact that this certain neighbor can't reach MY vine to mow it down.

An Afternoon Alone

It's early Sunday afternoon and the house is quiet again. Just an hour earlier, there was alot of noise and activity. Both girls and both dogs were inside. They have now left for Memphis and lunch with their dad. While it is still a surreal and odd feeling that our family now has this separation and sharing, I think we are slowly becoming accustomed to it. Somedays we do better than others. Somedays, I think one of us or more than one of us, takes a few steps backwards. But we are dealing. We are hanging in there and learning.

Today I was fine as I waved the three of them off. I was glad they were spending the afternoon together. And they are even bringing me back a salad to eat on later. I'm so thankful that we are not in the middle of a situation that is hostile. A lesson that I've been learning and relearning for many years now, is that even in the trials and hard times of life, there are blessings when you open your eyes and look for them. I'm glad their father and I are working at re-establishing our friendship and some form of partnership, even though it is vastly different than marriage.

After they drove away, I busied myself cutting up fresh peaches, sprinkling them with sugar and placing in a big bowl in the fridge. When the girls are back later, we will make peach milkshakes. As I was in the kitchen cutting up the peaches and smelling the wonderful aroma, I was taken back in time to my great-grandmother's kitchen. She always had peaches in her freezer that she had put away during the summer. We could bring those out and have them over ice cream or she could make a cobble anytime of the year.

I also made mixed together some hummingbird nectar and poured into the feeder to place outside. I stepped out on the deck, and was assaulted by a heat index of 110, and decided the hummingbird feeder could be hung later this evening.

I have a good book I'm reading, and I think I'll read it for a little while and then take a quick nap before they come back. Although there are many times that I don't like the quantity of aloneness that is now in my life, I am adapting and learning to make it mine. I can be as busy as I want, or I can use this time to regroup, refresh and heal.

Today I am thankful for:

1. The taste and smell of sweet summer peaches, and the memories that are evoked.

2. Leisurely Sunday afternoons.

3. Knowing that God is at work in our lives...even when sometimes it is hard to see. I know that my faith has grown when I am resting in the "knowing".

Detours

It's Saturday morning, and I'm propped up in bed, with the house quiet around me. I've had time to do a little reflecting this morning.

Last night I was at a surprise birthday party for one of my dearest friends. His wife had planned the whole thing very well, and the party was at the home of other dear friends. There were about 30 people and the guest of honor was surprised and it was a huge hit. I laughed and enjoyed being there....I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else last night.

And yet....I found myself wistful and sad that my separated spouse wasn't there. Alot of the guests last night were people we've had a long history with. Four of them (including the birthday boy, er, 50 year old man) were our dearest friends. I was the only single person there, and it was just an odd feeling. One I am having to get used to, but not quite there yet. I seemed to be extra observant of the spouse who would go bring his/her partner a drink refill,or ask if they wanted something extra from the buffet. I miss alot of little things like that. I found myself sad and even a little angry at him that he wasn't there to be a part of the laughter and celebration.

When the party was winding down and guests were saying goodnight, I walked to the car and then got inside and shed a few tears on the way home. The tears didn't last long, but they felt better just being released.

I was reading this morning in a book that I've really enjoyed "Walking with God on the Road You Never Wanted to Travel". It's a book I am taking my time reading, because I am really reflective and writing alot as I read it. I started a new chapter this morning called "Detours". And I realized...last night was simply a small detour on my road of healing. I have had many moments of missing my husband and married life, and I know I will have some more on this journey. As long as I can recognize them for what they are, and continue to go to my Heavenly Father for healing, I will go through these detours and come out okay on the other end.

I'm glad it's Saturday, that I've been to be a little lazy this morning and have this time of quiet reflection and renewal.

Casie came home for the weekend last night...that's always a good thing. She and I have plans later this afternoon to head to Memphis and just spend an evening together. Lindsey and every other 13 year old girl in town is pumped up for the "Justin Bieber" concert in Memphis tonight, and the young teenage world is buzzing in our small southern town. We'll be helping her pick out just the PERFECT jeans and tshirt for the concert, I am sure. Thankfully, another mom is actually attending the concert and I don't have to. I haven't quite acquired "Bieber fever" yet.

Time to move on from being propped up in bed to my feet hitting the floor and beginning this day.

Today I am grateful for:

1. Friends and celebrations.

2. Detours, reflections and healing.

3. Time with my girls.

The Good Things

It's the "dog days of summer" and by this time of year, I find myself ready for summer to come to and end, and I long for the cooling days of fall. My yard always looks tired and brown, most roadtrips or vacations come to an end, my girls always seemed to be ready to reconnect with all of their friends, school clothes and supplies are being displayed in the front of the stores, it's too hot to enjoy grilling outdoors, laying in my hammock, or enjoying backyard games.

However, since we're still a way off from sweatshirt weather, pumpkins, the changing fall colors, football, and homemade chili, I've decided that the best way to get through these last few weeks of summer is to notice the simple and good things around me. Instead of focusing on how brown my yard is getting, I'm going to focus on the beautiful sweet potato vine that just seems to get a brighter shade of lime green the hotter it gets. I'm going to enjoy the cold glass of iced tea or that lemon-berry slush. I'm going to make a freezer of homemade ice cream, which reminds me of summers growing up. I'm going to notice the beauty in the dragonflies and butterflies that are flitting around my yard each day, and the fireflies that come out at night. I'm going to make sure I take the time to keep driving to the produce stand down the road and enjoy every last bit of watermelon, cantaloupe and tomatoes before the summer crops end. By mid-winter, I'll be craving a homegrown melon or tomato. I'm going to enjoy sleeping in a little later for a few more weeks before school starts, and we have to get back on our morning school routine.

So although I'm still yearning for the first signs of fall, I'll keep appreciating the good things about the last days of summer.

On another note, I am thanking and praising God today for helping me with the worries I mentioned in an earlier post. He always has a way for the solutions to be found.

Today I am grateful for:

1. Blessings and answered prayers.

2. Summer

3. Snowcones, popsicles, slushes and iced tea