Gimme Something Else Lord

Have you ever prayed to God for help with something and then weren't crazy about the solution when He gave it to you? C'mon....I know I'm not the only one. I've had trouble getting out of bed the last couple of weeks, so I've earnestly began praying to God for help in the mornings. I absolutely TREASURE having some time to myself in the quiet of the morning...and when I sleep in and miss it, I start off my day a tad bit cranky. (some in the family might say my crankiness is "more" than a tad) So...the Lord decided to answer my prayer for help this morning. Saturday morning. At 5 am no less. I quickly told Him that I didn't intend for Saturdays to be covered in my prayer. So I rolled over, snuggled deeper into the covers and closed my eyes. Only to find that my lab was jumping up and down to let me know he needed to go outside. Gggrrr. So I get up and let Cocoa out. I run back to the warmth of the bed before my eyes open too wide....or my mind becomes too alert. Aahhh...there's that warm spot. I snuggle back in. Now I hear Cocoa at the back door whining to come back inside. "He's fine" I tell myself. "He's got alot of fur". Then I remember it's 24 degrees outside, and I do love Cocoa. So I get back up and let him in. Now I'm awake. "Gee thanks Lord" is what is running through my head.

Since I'm not alert enough to really read anything yet, I do a couple of chores. I do get to see the beautiful sunrise...one of my favorite times of day. The coffee is great. "Okay, okay Lord. It's not so bad being up this early on a Saturday."

I sit down with my Bible, journal and a couple of devotional books. I began to read. "No....I don't really want that message, Lord. Gimme something else." I thumb through my books again. Nope. Nothing is hitting me like that verse. This can't be what I'm supposed to get this morning. I don't want this. Ever felt that way? The Lord leads you to read something, and the words just jump out at you. Sometimes we're excited....we know it's for us and it's encouraging. Sometimes we're offended. We know it's for us, and we don't want to hear it. This morning, I wasn't offended, but I didn't want that message. I needed something else. Something to make me feel good. This wasn't making me feel good. This was telling me what I should do. I don't want to be told what to do. I want to be made to feel good!

"Lord, we need to talk again. This isn't what I need. Let me thumb back a few pages. Nah, that's not it either. Let me thumb forward. " By now, my thumbs are getting tired. I've looked through the pages fast, I've looked through them slower. I keep coming back to these words.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colossians 3:23

The reason I didn't want to hear this is because we are going through an incredibly stressful and difficult time at work. On a scale of 1-10, we're at about a 15. The work load is huge, the obstacles seem great right now, deadlines are looming, staff doesn't always get along. I wanted a peppy, uplifting verse. I didn't want to hear that I should keep diligent at my work. And with all of my heart???? Are you kidding me Lord? At my job? With these people??? Have you met them?

He assured me that He has met them and loves them. He reminded me that I have this job, hard as it may be right now, at a time when many are losing theirs. He reminded me that this too, shall pass. This time of stress will work itself out and situations will improve.

And as He so often does, He reminded me that He is faithful. He heard my prayer for help and got me out of bed this Saturday morning (even though I didn't mean Saturday in my prayer). He reminded me that He gave me a solution to how I should handle my job right now (even though I desperately tried to help Him find another one....geez, my fingers are tired from flipping through those pages) I was able to see the sunrise, and know it's a new day. And I will do my best to make the most of it.

Thank you Lord.

Morning Coffee

This is the view from my kitchen table...one of the three different places that I like to sit early in the morning before the rest of the household is awake. Even though the view from my kitchen window is mainly of the road and house across the street, there is still something peaceful to me about being able to look outside when I pray and read. Watching the sun rise is a peaceful and enjoyable feeling to me, usually.....but lately I can barely drag this middle aged booty out of bed in the mornings. I'm not sure why, but the urge to pull the covers over my head is almost irresistable at the present.

However, if I am able to put my feet to the floor and shuffle to the kitchen, I am usually awake by the second sip (or gulp on some mornings) of coffee and once I am actually awake, I enjoy the peace that comes with a quiet morning.

A little music, a little reading, a little journaling, alot of prayer.....and my day seems to go so much better. I'm able to focus on things that I should, on the people that I should...and I'm better able to let certain things "roll off" my shoulders, the things that I DON'T need to focus on.

So although the view from my front window is nothing spectacular or even above average...it still is a window of tranquility, peace and hope for me as I begin the new day. With each sunrise that I get to see, I am reminded of God's faithfulness to me each and every day.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

Hanging by a Thread

Lately it seems as if sitting down to write is getting harder and harder....not because I don't enjoy it, because I do. It's just that life has become a little chaotic and stressful, as it tends to do in all of us, and I find myself "whipped" by the end of the day.

Usually, I consider myself a morning person. However, something happened when the time changed a couple of weeks ago. That morning person has vamoosed....totally gone....she has left the building.

I have signed onto blogger and enjoyed following the blogs of people who I read. And I'll even start to post myself, and find myself staring at the screen.

My stresses are no different than most of the rest of the world...it just seems to me as if they are all piling on at once. An unexpected death of a partner in our firm, the aftermath that leaves at the office, the normal "year end" work that takes place in accounting, the lack of Christmas planning which now has me in a panic, the realization that both of my girls have birthdays right around the corner, a stack of bills sitting on my desk at home to be paid, health concerns of family members, relationship worries.....basically....just life.

These days I feel as if I'm hanging by a thread...and the worry that my thread isn't strong enough to hold me. Then I remember to whom I am bound....and I smile. God is the thread that holds me together.

Yep, I'm hanging by a thread. And it's all okay.

Blessings

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, it is impossible for me not to begin thinking of all that I have to be thankful for. My life is full of God's blessings, but sadly, I often go through my days not really acknowledging them. I often take the blessings for granted, which is something I should never do.

Over the last year, I have begun to have a genuine time of praise and thanksgiving in my prayer life, and the amazing thing about that has been the result - which is a deeper understanding of God and the "opening of my eyes" to more blessings in my life. I also notice that when I neglect that area of my prayer life, I miss out on the recognition of God's work and blessing in my life.

I want to be able to live my life where Thanksgiving is more than just a holiday in November. I want to recognize God's work in my life throughout all of the seasons.

One of my favorite songs is Louis Armstrong singing "What a Wonderful World"...I can't help but smile. If a song can make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, then that is the song that does it for me. The lyrics are great, and remind me of things to be thankful for.

And now, I'm going to go sit with my warm mug of coffee, listen to Louis and thank God for the blessings this morning.