Invisible

Have you ever felt like the Invisible Man? Well, in my case, Invisible Woman? I would venture to guess that most of us feel this way more than once in our lifetime.

Maybe we feel invisible in the workplace. We feel overworked and underappreciated - maybe the boss or management seems to always overlook us. Maybe our coworkers take us for granted.

What about as a parent? It's very easy to feel overlooked here as well. We play the roles of caretaker, chauffeur, referee, coach, nurse, teacher, cook, maid, lender, etc and etc. Our list of roles can go on and on. It's sometimes easy to feel overlooked when the gratitude doesn't come pouring in. And with our own children, so much of what we do is taken for granted. Moms and Dads are just SUPPOSED to do all that stuff. Every now and then we I have a "meltdown" (which I have to do for sanity's sake) I'm often greeted with expressions of perplexion and puzzlement. It's like "Gee....what was THAT all about?" I think it often surprises our kids also when they find out that we have feelings - we don't run on autopilot. I never thought much about my own parents having their feelings hurt or overlooked, I don't know why I was surprised when my own children seemed to be knocked for a loop when they figured that one out with me.

What about in marriage? It's so easy to feel overlooked and invisible in our role as spouse. We get so busy taking care of the normal day to day tasks and responsiblities in life that we just begin to assume that our spouse is always on the same page with us. It's often surprising when we find out that we're on vastly different pages. We never intended to emotionally neglect one another or take each other for granted. We're not even sure when it started. But it happened somewhere along the way.

What about at church? What about in our roles on various committees or boards? In volunteer work? There are so many areas in which we can begin to feel invisible. Sometimes we even seek out the safety there is in anonymity. I'm convinced that sometimes we seek out churches where we can just blend in with the masses and come and go without anyone noticing. That way we won't be called upon to get involved in small groups or relationships. So sometimes I think we seek out the invisibility. Maybe that's where we feel comfortable.

However, we need to realize that we are not invisible with God. He knows us...inside and out. He loves us unconditionally....flaws and all. No matter how many times we stumble, falter, run away, hide, fail...He is there to pick us up, dust us off, and welcome us back. Nothing we do or don't do can make us unloveable or unacceptable to Him. We are never....I repeat, NEVER invisible with God.

Lately, I've felt invisible in some areas of my life. The New Year, which is always a time of reflection, led me to ask myself a question....."Who am I treating as invisible in my life? Am I making anyone feel that way?" Do I show my husband, daughters, parents, siblings, friends, co-workers, that I love them? Do they feel accepted and safe around me? Do they know that I am always there for them....with unconditional grace and love?

My goal this week is to make sure that those I am surrounded by know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are not invisible to me.

Thankful for All Times

As I was reading this morning out of one of my favorite devotional books, I came across a scripture that really spoke to me this morning (even through the morning haze of sleepiness that I can't seem to get past).

"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider; God has made the one as well as the other." Ecclesiastes 7:14

I've had a very challenging year personally....I've gone through extremely rough times that have led to an extremely close walk with the Lord. When you're knocked to your knees, you can choose to stay there, or look upwards. Looking upwards is AMAZING....because you'll find the Father's outstretched hand waiting to help you up. I can't even begin to put into adequate words the mercy and healing that God has shown me this year.

For some reason, many of us have a harder time with a strong prayer life when things are going well. God wants us to live joyfully, so why do we struggle there?

The verse in Ecclesiastes tells us that God has made the good times as well as the bad. We have to know one in order to know the other.

I need to learn to be equally close to God in all times....I want to walk closely and abundantly with Him regardless of my circumstances. The Father knows that I need balance, and without the contrast of good and bad, I wouldn't be able to be grateful for what He's done for me and what He's pulled me through. I wouldn't be able to enjoy the good if I had not suffered and learned from the bad. I wouldn't be able to get through the bad, if I never had been able to appreciate the blessings and good times in life that God has given to me.

I'm so thankful for God's wisdom...and that He walks with me through it all.

Sunday Night Blues

It's Sunday night, and my family has always said that I seem to get the "Sunday Night Blues". My mood does tend to get gloomy a bit (sometimes alot) as I realize my weekend is drawing to an end, and the business of a work week is looming ahead.

I've been fortunate enough to have 5 days off with the Christmas holidays, and this upcoming week will be another short week. It's been a very good week with family, and so I have nothing to be blue about. And yet, my mood still changed.

Tonight I've had time to be alone and enjoy the quiet. Andy is on duty, Linds is spending the night with a friend, and Casie is playing games with a group of her friends. I'm okay being alone, I actually enjoy it at times. I like to indulge in old black and white movies, read a good novel or catch up on emails to my distant friends. But for some reason tonight, I've felt a little lonely and so I've tried to busy myself with laundry. Doing the laundry is a necessary task (and a sometimes daunting one at our home) but it hasn't chased away the loneliness or the blues tonight.

So I began to reflect on the last year and I'm realizing that I've done alot of growing, and yet, there is still so much growing to do. I've worked on relationships, and there is still work to be done. I was doing a pretty good job in the self-improvement area, and then I became too engrossed in the busyness of daily life, and have neglected myself again. The steps I was taking to be healthy - emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally - I've let them all take a back seat to "things" that have had to be done and dealt with. Obviously, one of life's challenges it to successfully handle both the normal routines of life and still somehow manage to put one's own well being a priority. Maybe that's why I have the Sunday night blues tonight....I'm realizing that I've let myself down again.

One thing I have learned this year is to not STAY down. When I fall, I shall get back up. When I stumble, I will catch myself and stand upright again. Actually, I need to rephrase that. When I fall, God will get me back up. When I stumble, He will catch me and upright me. I cannot lose sight of the fact that I can do nothing on my own, but can do ALL things THROUGH HIM who strengthens me.

So I'm going to "regroup" tonight. I shall continue to do the laundry, (sigh) but only because clean underwear and clothes are a priority. But as I do the laundry, I'll smile. And I'll do some things this evening that are positive and good for myself. I'm going to continue to reflect on the past year....and recognize the Lord's blessings, guidance and faithfulness in my life. I will acknowledge both the good and the bad in my life, and I will not let the bad weigh me down. I will start this next week off on the right foot....I'll put the Lord first, making my time with Him my first priority. I know from experience that when I do this, all the other relationships, challenges, and things seem to somehow fall into place. I'll do healthy things for myself, and will encourage myself when I succeed. When I fail, I'll acknowledge that failure, but I won't wallow in it.

Maybe, just maybe, some week, on a Sunday night, I'll realize that I don't have the Sunday night blues. Maybe, just maybe, on some Sunday night in the future, I'll be able to look back at the previous week and think "well done" and look to the upcoming week with joyful anticipation.

Lessons from Flash

Lesson learned from Flash - He is "Mischief" personified. Or is it "dogified"????

Lessons from Cocoa

As I was running around the house this morning like a mad woman (typical for me on a weekday) getting everyone ready for school and work, I looked over at Cocoa, the most fantastic dog in the whole world. He was stretched out on the couch...totally oblivious to the the frenzied pace of all of us beginning our day. We also have a little Jack Russell puppy, who is NEVER relaxed. He, too, was running around like crazy. But not Cocoa. He would look at us every now and then, one eyebrow raised, and I think I saw him raise his head once. But he was content to just stretch a little and then just lay back down.

I decided to turn on the tree lights and put on some Christmas music to slow myself down. I poured another cup of coffee, and instantly I was a little more relaxed. Due to schedules and obligations, I wasn't able to join Cocoa in lying on the couch (although it's so cold and dreary outside it would have a perfect day to do so).

I thought about some of what I have learned from Cocoa. He defines the world "loyalty" - once you win him over, he's yours for life. I've learned to be playful. Nothing in life makes Cocoa happier than a ball or a frisbee...I mean he will retrieve for what seems like hours. Sometimes when I'm outside and don't really feel like playing, he will keep bringing me a ball or frisbee until I stop what I'm doing and play with him. The next thing I know, I'm laughing at his antics and we're having fun. I've also learned to just sit and enjoy another's company. Although Cocoa enjoys having his ears rubbed as much as the next dog, he's often content just to be near one of us. He'll often follow us around from room to room, or follow us around outside. No maintenance required during these times, just wanting to hang out. I've learned to be friendly with all that I meet. This past Halloween, we had trick or treaters stop by our house, and ask to see our lab. They didn't know Cocoa's name, but they had enjoyed watching him play outside and sit with us, and he had won them over with his personality. It made me wonder what impression I give to those around me during a normal course of the day. I've learned to be a caretaker. Cocoa seems to know when one of us is ill or simply feeling bad. He will give that person in the family his undivided attention, often laying in the bed or couch with you, his head on your lap, as if to say "it's okay, I'm here and you will feel better soon." During the night, I often hear his paws on the tile floor walking around and checking on all of us. He keeps a constant patrol guarding us.

Yep, Cocoa is a cool dog. He's not perfect, he can still get into mischief. Every now and then, he'll drink out of the toilet, or he'll get into the trash, or he'll dig up some of my beloved bulbs from the yard.

But the lessons I've learned from Cocoa are wonderful, and I'm so thankful for him.