Back to blogging

It has been a couple of months since I've blogged. For various reasons, I have simply felt "dry" when it came to putting words in type. But recently I've discovered I was missing the blogging (I find it strangely therapeutic) and missing reading the ones I follow.

Tonight is one of insomnia, so here I sit at the computer. I've browsed through the blogs I enjoy, looked at pictures that are posted that inspire me, and I feel invigorated. For exactly what, I'm not sure. But thanks to you bloggers out there that "do my soul good!"

My bout of insomnia (which unfortunately is rather common lately) comes from troubles within my own soul and an issue within my family. I have cried, I have prayed. I tried reading, but couldn't focus long enough to get past a few pages. There is nothing on tv that I feel like watching right now. It's too late to talk to precious friends...I know them well enough to know that they are all catching zzzz's right now. Now I'm fighting a splitting headache. I wonder....what do you others out there do when your nights are filled with anxiety, worries and pain? What eases your mind and your soul?

Embracing

I've been reading John Ortberg's book, Everyone is Normal Until You Get to Know Them. It's been a very interesting book. Several things he has written about have been challenging to me. One thing I read about 3 or 4 days ago has been heavy on my mind and heart.

He writes about how Jesus embraced all....He had no prejudices when it came to loving and accepting people. He came to earth for us all. I've known this my entire life. I've believed it most of my entire life. I've shared it with others.

Here's the question to myself...do "I" truly embrace all? It's so easy to embrace those who are similar to me...who have the same interests and values. As I've aged, I've matured to where differences and diversity don't intimidate me, and I've learned from many people who are different than myself. Yet still...that nagging question...."Do I embrace all?"

I think I get in my own personal comfort zone...and embrace what I am familiar with. If I look long, hard and honestly at myself, I don't think I'm as embracing and accepting as Christ would have me be. This is an area I need to work on....to look around the people around me and ask God to open my eyes to hurts, wounds, needs that people have. I want to see people as God sees them, not just through my own human eyes.

I hope this week that I keep my eyes and my heart open to those whom I cross paths with. I hope that I will be open to any opportunities placed in my pathway to be embracing and accepting. I don't want to shy away from people because they are wounded, hurting, sinful, or broken. I AM ALL OF THESE THINGS. Who among us isn't?

A Little Sunshine Goes a Long Way

We've had some rather dreary and gloomy days so far in the month of March, but today is one of those perfect spring-like days where the sun is shining, the skies are blue, the temp is in the mid 70s, the trees and flowers are blooming and the birds are chirping.

I'm amazed at how much a bit of sun can do to improve my overall mood and energy level. I'm sitting here in my new office (of 2 days) and for the first time in a couple of years, I'm fortunate enough to have a window. I'm doing the same work I've been doing the last 10 years or so, but there's a smile on my face. So far today, I've been able to turn around from my computer and enjoy a robin, a gorgeous red cardinal and a mockingbird in the tree in front of my window. Just being able to glance up for a minute away from reports, invoices and emails and enjoy God's creation may seem like a small thing, but it's a gentle reminder to me that He is a wonderful and awesome God.

In this economy, I'm so thankful and grateful for a job....even more so for having a job which I enjoy and co-workers with whom I care about and am close to. And yes, I'm even thankful for my new office window and the little bit of sunshine that has done wonders for my morale today.

Girls Weekend

This past weekend Lindsey, my youngest, and I made the drive to Conway to see my eldest daughter, Casie. She's a pre-physical therapy major at UCA and in her junior year of college. A cold and rainy day changed our original plans, but once we got there, the 3 of us just rolled with it, and simply enjoyed being in each other's company. I probably enjoyed it way more than my two girls...I think as we age that we realize how quickly life goes by, and to savor every moment. Gone are the days of reading "Goodnight Moon" and "Brown Bear, Brown Bear". Gone are the days of Barbies and American Girls. So many of the rituals I enjoyed when they are younger have given way to new ones. But oh! What memories! And what new ones we continue to make! We enjoyed a great lunch at the San Francisco Bread Company, and a little bit of shopping. We came home and I helped Casie do some stacked-up laundry (typical college gal in that regard) while Linds played around on the computer. We decided to order supper in and we just chilled in her apartment, watching tv, talking, laughing our heads off, and working a jigsaw puzzle. We hung out in pj's and had a great time. I even let Linds give me a makeover...only to find out that she wanted me to look like a cast member of "Cats". It all went by way too quickly...but every moment was enjoyed and savored.

Grace

“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” - Anne Lamott

I am learning so much about God's grace in my life....it's so simple...always there...and yet, because of my own humanity and limited thinking, it still remains a mystery to me in some ways. What I am realizing more and more each year is that I need to analyze it less and simply accept it more. I can do nothing to earn it or deserve it...it's simply a beautiful gift that He freely gives. As the Chris Tomlin lyrics say:
"My chains are gone, I've been set free My God, my Savior has ransomed me And like a flood His mercy reigns Unending love, amazing grace"

I am set free...any chains that I have binding me now are of my own doing, and I am simply not realizing or maybe I'm resisting....but they (the chains) are GONE. And He has poured His unending love and AMAZING grace on me.

I remember as a child loving to play in the sprinkler....the giddy feeling I would get when the water just poured down on me. I want to stand in the waterfall of God's grace...and I want to have that childlike enthusiasm and joy as it pours over me.

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