New Beginnings

My house was a flurry of activity this morning as it was the first day of the new school year. Lindsey is moving up from middle school to junior high and so nerves, anticipation and curiosity were high this morning. Of course, it's not quite cool to admit to that, so when I asked about it, I got the regular 13 year old response of the "rolling of the eyes". However, the backpack was filled with new supplies last night, the "first day of school" outfit was carefully selected...which was quite a dramatic event in and of itself. School night bedtime was adhered to and even the early morning wake up went without a hitch. We picked up a friend of hers that will ride with us in the mornings, which of course, makes your first entrance into junior high so much better.

We are met with new beginnings all throughout our lives. New schools, new churches, new jobs, new relationships. Sometimes our new beginnings are the result of endings. New beginnings fill us with a variety of emotions...anticipation, excitement, fear, dread, nervousness, sadness or happiness...the list could go on and on.

In the school line, I watched the various kids getting out of their parents' cars, some with timid steps and some with bold. It made me think of how I approach new beginnings...and I can honestly say, I've done both.

Linds hopped out of the car, threw her backpack over her shoulders and gave me a quick smile and then never looked back. She and her girlfriend hooked up with another friend, and they walked in together. She was the exact same way in kindergarten. Gave us a quick kiss and was on her merry way.

I'm not quite ready to just "hop" right into my new beginning. My steps are a little timid at the present. But, just as Lindsey had her friends walking with her, I'm blessed to have a treasure trove of family and friends who are walking with me. And I can honestly say, that the timid steps sometimes become bolder and stronger, and I look forward eagerly to the day when these timid baby steps are totally gone.

Today I am grateful for:

1. New beginnings

2. People who care enough to encourage your steps and walk with you when needed

3. Learning from my girls...they both continually teach me lessons in life, and they don't even know it!

Moving Forward

As you know if you read my blog or are in my life in any other way, I am on a journey. It's a journey that is unknown for me, and there are times I feel overwhelmed, fearful and full of worry. Actually, those are just three of many different emotions that sometimes assault me.

My faith has grown so much deeper and stronger as a result of the journey I am on. However, the growth of my faith doesn't stop the worries and fears that can pop up in the middle of the day or night.

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned is to not allow myself to get stuck during these times, but to simply keep moving forward. Putting one foot in front of the other, even if I don't quite know what direction I am heading. Not to say that I have never BEEN stuck, because I have. But I'm learning to avoid that, and if I do find myself stuck, to get out of it quickly. Again, put one foot in front of the other.

God hasn't given me a crystal ball to see into my future (and not for lack of asking on my part). He simply tells me to trust and to move forward.

I can't see what's ahead of me, and it's hard not to get distracted with all the emotional upheaval and the practical worries around me.

But everytime I do trust and move forward, I find that He is there. He has already gone ahead of me.

Today I am grateful for:

1. Moving forward

2. Not getting stuck...at least for not too long.

3. Knowing that God is going before me.

Monday Morning

As I woke up a little while ago, I was feeling the "Monday Morning Blues"...back home after a quick trip with Lindsey to see my folks, knowing my desk at the office is going to be piled full, bills to pay today, Casie going back to UCA this morning....I'm just not quite ready for the regular work week to begin. I'm wishing for "one more day". However, the reality is that it's Monday and time to get back to our regular routine.

After letting both dogs out, I tiptoe around the house and look at both of my beautiful daughters still sleeping. My blues change to blessings, for I am truly BLESSED. Sometimes the enormity of my love for them continues to overwhelm me, and the love they give back to me and the love they have for one another is simply amazing and awesome to behold.

When Linds and I got back into town yesterday evening, after greeting Casie with hugs...the chattering began. Three females going at it at once...we were all talking over one another. It was chaotic even for me. But I smiled inside....because I love it when we're all together. I took them out to eat, and I had to laugh. They were already pushing each other's buttons over a song on the radio, and once we got inside the restaurant, they both had so much to say, it was almost like they were competing for my attention. But I still smiled.....and listened....and we laughed...and I tried to get a word in edgewise between the two of them (not sure if I did) but it was a beautiful evening. Back home later that night, it was just a regular night of some television watching, and big sis helping the younger one with her summer assignment from school. As the 3 of us were all together on the couch....my heart just swelled with the joy of being a mom. I know my girls don't get it yet, but they will someday.

This morning, I am thankful for:

1. Mothers and daughters

2. The simple things that make me feel blessed....like daughters excessively talking, and regular Sunday evenings just being together

3. New mornings....and the unexpected changing of feelings from the blues to the recognition of blessings.

Good Morning from Texas

I'm deeply snuggled in bed in the guest room at my parents' house. It's early morning, and day 2 of awaking in Texas. This isn't the house I grew up in, it's a house they moved into later, but there is still the same feeling of home for me. I grew up in the town they still live in, went to the church they still go to, and although they have made many many new friends over the years, they still also have most of the friends they had when I was young. So driving into their driveway always just feels like home to me. I guess it's a reminder that it's not the dwelling but the people that give you the sense of home.

Today I'm thankful for:

1. My mom and dad

2. The home they made for us as we were growing up

3. The hot cup of morning coffee I am about to share with them this morning

A New Venture

I am currently involved in something I have never done before....an online bible study. I've done many different bible studies over the years - but never one online. Since my current small group is on a summer hiatus, I had the time to do this study.

An old high school friend of mine who lives in Virginia is the person who invited me to join this online group. She is on staff at a church in Virginia, and she and I reconnected through Facebook a few years ago. I also follow her blog online. I was both skeptical and curious about how it would work, but curiosity won out and so I decided to join.

First of all, let me say the bible study itself is amazing. I would recommend it to anyone. Secondly, I really feel that God positioned me to do this study at this time. The study is about loss, and everyone living has experienced loss of some sort. Mine happens to be the loss of my marriage. Many of the women in this group have experienced losses of different types, but I have been able to connect with women who have walked this road before me, and their honesty and transparency about this journey has hit me full force. I have gained new empathy and admiration for these women, as I have read words from these strangers which resound in my heart and seem so familiar. They are no longer strangers to me, but now friends. God has really used our discussions and posts to renew my spirit with joy and hope when I seem to be lagging in those areas. More importantly, I have realized that I am not alone in my journey, which is a feeling I struggle with at times. As for the women in the group who have experienced losses of a different sort, I have gleaned and learned alot from them as well. It's been an important reminder to me that we really need to invest in the people that are in our lives. We need to get to KNOW them...to know their life stories...both past and current.

We are all uniquely and individually made....and yet, we are all so similar in so many ways.

Today I am grateful for:

1. My friend, Beth, who asked me to participate.

2. God revealing new things to me about relationships: the people in my life now, and those I have yet to meet.

3. God repositioning my life for new experiences.