Here's To a New and Wonderful Year

The last couple of weeks for me have been so busy that I haven't taken the time to slow down to read any blogs or to write on mine. All of sudden, I realized that I missed it.

Christmas was different for us this year...but it was good. We are learning to embrace the changes (because they happen whether you embrace them or not) and look for the good.

Our Christmas Day was full of laughter and joy, and was quite lazy. The girls stayed in pjs as long as they could. Andy, their father, ended up bringing his presents to them, so he was with them here for awhile. On Christmas Eve, the girls surprised me in such a delightful way. Since they have been itty bitty, they have been able to unwrap one gift under the tree, and they are new pjs for Christmas. Even as old as they are now, they still look forward to that. When I gave them their packages to unwrap, they handed one to me! They had brought me a pair of new pjs...and to make it even more personal, the silky pjs look like a scrabble board with words on it. Scrabble is one of my all time favorite games. I can't even begin to tell you how touched I was that they had done that for me on Christmas Eve.

We packed the car and headed towards Texas the next day. We normally don't travel that far, but we all decided to head towards Mom and Dads for our get-together instead of my sister's house. I had a wonderful few days of family time with my parents, grandmother, my brother and sister, brother in law and sis in law, and my wonderful nieces and nephews. I wrote on Facebook one day that my "love bank was full" and that was so true. That's the best part about spending time with family.

As 2010 began to wind down, I realized how far God's healing has allowed me to journey this past year. I was totally broken just not too long ago...and wondering if I'd ever get over the intense and gut wrenching pain. Indeed, God's faithfulness did not let me down. While I still have those moments (or sometimes days) of pain....they are getting fewer and farther between. I look back over the last year and see tremendous growth and healing in my own life....and I see blessing after blessing after blessing. I have been telling folks for several days that I have seen God's handprints all over my life. I even have another blessing write about, but I'll save that one for a different day. It deserves its own space.

With the beginning of 2011, I want to make sure that I never forget the journey of 2010. I want to anticipate the newness of each day, to look for the opportunities that God puts in my pathway, to stay in the moment, and not worry to far ahead. I want to continue to grow and to continue to heal. I want to keep my love bank full and to make deposits into the love banks of others. I don't want to have taken this journey for nothing...I want to make it count.

Celebrating Lindsey

December has been a month of celebration for us. We had Casie's birthday first, college graduation, and yesterday was Lindsey's 14th birthday. Hard to believe my "baby girl" is in junior high and is fourteen years old. She graciously decided to hold off on a larger birthday party this year until sometime in January. We'll have a group of friends over to our house then or maybe to another location. But with graduation added into the mix this year, December became overwhelming pretty quickly in the scheduling department.

She went with her dad to lunch and spent the afternoon with him, and they had a great time together. After I left the office, I picked up Linds and a friend, Alexandra, and we headed to Memphis for dinner and a movie. Listening to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber on the way, I had alot of fun with those two girls in the car. Just listening to teenagers is a riot at times. We had a burger and fries at Steak 'n Shake, and then arrived at the movies too full to even get a popcorn.

As her dad and I were talking about Lindsey yesterday, we both traveled back to the day she was born. When she was born, she had Group B Strep and also pneumonia. My baby girl went straight from my arms to the NICU at the hospital. We could see her every 4 hours for 10 minutes. Linds came into the world not only very sick, but with alot of spunk. She fought hard those first few days, but she won. She's been spunky ever since. She's such a whirlwind, that sometimes I have trouble keeping up with her. She is a very social person, and likes to be around friends or family most of the time. There are times I have to make her slow down, and just have some time to herself. She looks at me with that look that only teenagers can give, but she goes along. She is a curious young lady, and has been since birth. She wants to see new things, go new places, have new experiences often. Life with Lindsey has been adventurous to say the least. She has a quick wit, and keeps me laughing alot. One of the things I'm the most proud of in her is that she is a person of compassion and caring for those around her. In her earlier school years, she felt bad that her best friend and our next door neighbor didn't receive an award at the end of school that year. Most of the kids seemed to have one at least ONE reward or certificate, but not Tate. We drove home, and she couldn't stop worrying about him. So, she marched into our computer room, and began to get on a program to design him a certificate. I went in there to help. We printed out an award for "Best Friend Ever" and she signed it, making it all official, and then marched straight next door to knock on his door and give it to him. I think it was one of the sweetest (and shortest) award ceremonies I've ever attended. But what a precious moment! His toothless grin stretched from one end of his face to the other, and he treasured that award. They promptly waved me off and then went off to play outside. She's always been that way, and we've come up with many things like that to do for her friends and encourage them when they are down. That makes her a pretty special young lady in my unbiased (ha) opinion.

So here's to you Linds...may your life continue to be an adventure...and may your inward beauty continue to shine. I love you!

Look Out World

What a celebratory weekend in our family! My oldest daughter, Casie, graduated from the University of Central Arkansas with a Bachelor of Health Sciences. She had papers, presentations and finals right up until the very end....by the time the Big Event arrived on Saturday, I'm sure she was simply running on adrenaline. But she was glowing as she walked across that stage to receive her diploma.

She had quite a crew cheering her on....her father and I, her sister, both sets of grandparents, 2 aunts, 2 uncles, and 5 cousins. Not to mention all the cards and phone calls she received this week from so many others family and friends.

In the words of Dr. Seuss:

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."

Casie, it's going to be exciting as you begin a new journey in life and to find out what God has in store for you!

I Am Taking Care of You

God's faithfulness is something that I am sure of, and yet, constantly amazed by. Throughout my life, God has never changed...He has been the constant. Life has changed, circumstances change, relationships change, I have changed, the people in my life have changed....but God is always there...unchanging and ever faithful.

As a newly single woman and mother, there are times that I feel frightened, alone, and overwhelmed. God is there to hear my fears and answer them, He comforts me when I feel alone and reminds me that I am not, and brings about a calmness, blessings, encouragement and solutions when I am overwhelmed.

Often the Lord uses the people in my life to bring about the solutions, encouragement and blessings. I am so filled with awe and gratitude for these earthly angels.

In the last week, I received a card from a girlfriend. That's not unusual...she and I correspond quite a bit, and we love to send cards. Inside was a Christmas ornament with a friendship saying and then a note "This is not a Christmas present...this is something to get you through the slump". (She and I decided not to exchange at Christmas a few years ago...although we frequently find reasons to send each other things throughout the year. We simply didn't want to the other to feel overwhelmed during a financially stressful time of year). Anyway...the "UNChristmas present" was a Visa giftcard to use when I needed. I just sat there with tears in my eyes...she has walked the scary road of divorce and single motherhood, and she now walks the road of healing and a new life filled with love. But she remembers...and she is a huge source of blessing, encouragement and friendship in my life.

I also received the blessing of having my lost bifocals replaced. I won't share the person's name just yet, but maybe someday. The message to go pick up something at the clinic was sent privately, and this person is a pretty private individual. I have been wearing my old "backup" pair from years ago, simply because replacing the new pair from last spring was going to be too costly for me at this time. The others, while not that attractive, worked just fine. But I missed my newer ones quite a bit (they were lost in July) and this person simply told me "Merry Christmas". I sat in the parking lot and cried as I put on the new bifocals....I had been blessed in such a huge and generous way. I am so filled with humble gratitude at this gift, but also at the blessing of this person's friendship.

Tonight, on the eve of Casie's college graduation, Linds and I met up with Casie, my parents from Texas, and 2 of my aunts and uncles for an early Christmas dinner at a restaurant. The hugs, laughter and conversation that soon filled the table were heartwarming and encouraging in a way that only the familiarity of family ties can bring. The girls and I met up with Mom and Dad a little after dinner at their hotel and visited. While the girls were opening up birthday presents (both have December birthdays), Mom pointed to a beautifully wrapped gift on the coffee table. Cellophane with snowflakes and a big gorgeous red ribbon tied up this beautiful package. She told me that one of her friends in my hometown of Grand Prairie, Texas, who I have come to know through my mom, sent it for me. As I untied the beautiful bow, I was already touched not even knowing what it was. Just the thought of someone that I have only recently, in the last few years, come to know and only see when I go home for a visit, yet was kind enough to send a gift, was already causing a lump in my throat. Tied to the bow was a beautiful cross ornament with a butterfly and the word "HOPE" dangling from it. I love the symbol of the butterfly...something beautiful emerging from a caterpillar and cocoon. It just fills me with hope for new possibilities. And of course, the symbol of the cross...the power of the Savior's love, is very important in my life. And I haven't even OPENED the package yet! Inside the cellphane was a gorgeous bronzed tin with a cross on it and the words "FAITH". This round tin is one that can sit out on a table all year long...it is simply beautiful. And inside were the most scrumptious homemade buttery cookies in the shape of Christmas trees that I have ever tasted. We sat around the hotel room, nibbling (scarfing them down is more like it) on those yummy treats and talking about the giving spirit of the woman who had baked them and put together this gift for me.

As I looked around the room...I felt such enormous love...the love I have for my parents, and they for me. The love I have for my daughters and the love they have for me. The swelling in both my heart and throat were growing by the minute. It was ABUNDANT.

All week long I have felt God's encouragement raining down on me, and the reminder that "I AM TAKING CARE OF YOU". I don't need tangible gifts to know this truth...but this week, God chose to show me in tangible ways. He used these people to lift me up, and I know that they are going to be filling the blessings of the Lord raining down on them. That's the wonderful thing about allowing God to use you in meaningful ways....you not only bless the recipient (me in this case) but God chooses to bless you for being a faithful servant.

Tonight...well, this morning...(I am wide awake at 3:50 am) I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the abundance of encouragement, generosity and love that has been sent my way. And I am praying an abundance of blessing on all of these angels.

The Birthday Girl

Yesterday was Casie's 23rd birthday. I can't believe my firstborn is 23 years old. It seems like just yesterday she was snuggling in my lap. One of my favorite memories is how she would cuddle in my lap when she was a toddler and preschooler and hug my neck and say "Oh how I love that Mommy smell!" My heart would just melt.

So she's older now, and she is cuddling with the purse of her dreams and probably saying "Oh how I love that new purse smell!" But that's okay...because, I, the mommy, found it for her! :)

Seriously, I am honored to be her mother. She was a beautiful baby and has grown into a beautiful woman. And I'm not even talking about the outward appearance, although she truly is beautiful outwardly. I'm talking about something more important...her soul. She is a beautiful soul. She is a young woman who lives out the fruits of the Spirit....love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

My own mother and I are very close...and I considered myself close to all my grandmothers and great grandmother. I'm blessed to still have one remaining grandmother as a matter of fact, and I treasure her. So, I always felt loved and nurtured by the women in my family. And yet, until I held Casie in my arms for the first time, I never knew the intensity of the love between mother and child. And Casie won't get it until she is blessed to have her own child.

I'm glad that we had a good celebration yesterday. Her dad even came over and took us all to lunch to celebrate her special day, and we all four had a lovely afternoon together. We ate her favorite cheesecake from the Cheesecake Corner in Memphis, and we played a boardgame together, all four of us laughing quite a bit. Although life's changes aren't always good, I'm glad for the bond of children, and how the celebration of life can bring people together for awhile. She hugged me and said her birthday was a great one, and those words have made my heart melt all over again.