New Growth

I'm trying something new this spring that I've never really tried before....I'm starting plants from seeds I have purchased and I've planted them in peat pots and have them on trays on the kitchen table for now.  I've sowed seeds directly into the ground before, and have had very mixed results.

But as far as planting a large number and variety of seeds this way, hoping to transplant them into larger pots, and then into the ground is something new to me.  I'm in the mood to try new things this year.  Plus, I'm on a much tighter budget these days, and seeds are alot less expensive than actual plants purchased at a nursery.  Of course, I know I'll end up purchasing a few established plants at my local nursery, because I'm too impatient to wait for results...I like bringing home a pretty plant, popping it into the ground or a container and enjoying that instant gratification of beauty in the yard.  But I'm limiting my plant purchases this year, and going to see how I do with the Great Seed Growing/Patience Growing/Budget Friendly Experiment of 2011.

I planted a large tray of seeds exactly 6 days ago.  I have one variety that is already grown about 3 inches and is just taking off.  I have another variety that are up about an inch and straining towards the sunlight coming through the window.  Two other varieties are still hiding in the soil, not peeking through yet.  I have to say that I enjoy looking at the tray each day to see if I can spot more green poking through the soil and I get tickled when a tiny little plant makes it way through.

In some ways, I feel like these little seedlings, even though I'm (cough) 47.  At times, I'm extremely aware of my middle age....I wake up with a little more stiffness these days; even with bifocals, I find myself holding something I am trying to read closer to my face, pulling away from my face, pulling closer again...over and over until I find "that spot" where the words are clear; I think about things like cholesterol and digestion; and comfort is more important than cuteness in shoes now.  At other times, I turn on my classic rock station and sing along at the top of my lungs and feel 18 again, or I realize I know most of the words to the music my girls like and I realize that I'm thankfully not "out of touch" at 47.  I definitely wish I had the energy I did when I was 18.  I enjoy hanging out with my daughters and their friends, mainly because I love them all, but also, they help keep me energized.  But as I mentioned earlier, I feel like a little seedling right now in some ways.

I'm experiencing new growth at this stage in my life...definitely not a bad thing, but growth in a way I didn't expect.  I'm learning how to be single after spending most of my life married.  I'm learning how to let go of my need for control and let God take control  Yeah...that one is pretty hard. I'm learning that the sun always comes out eventually, that healing always comes, and that although we shouldn't sweat the small stuff, it's often the small things that bring us the most happiness.  I'm learning that being rich in life has nothing to do with money.  I'm learning although I have many flaws, weaknesses , that although I have had failures and will most likely have more, that God is ever faithful and never falters in His grace and love.  I'm learning that family and friends are what makes life worthwhile and beautiful.  I'm learning that everything I'm learning makes me feel more alive each day.  My seedlings need soil to establish their roots, they need nourishment and they need the sun.  Each day, the frail little stems and new leaves reach towards the light that streams in through my kitchen window.  They are still tender and delicate, and not strong enough to be transplanted just yet.

And just like my seedlings, I find myself needing fertile soil for my roots to grow.  I need and cherish my time alone with God...my times of prayer, digging into His word, and times of reflection.  My roots are getting stronger everyday.  The more time I spend with Him, the more nourishment I get.  I find myself straining towards the Light, especially after having spent a rather lengthy time feeling like I was in the darkness.  Although I did have some very dark days, I realize now that some of that time when I was in the dark, was actually a time of being planted like a seed.  God was sowing me in His soil, I was being tended to by His mercy and grace,  and covered with by His Healing Hands.  Now, after alot of the Father's TLC, I am breaking through and able to grow above ground.  I'm still very tender, fragile in some ways.  But stronger than I was a year ago.  I'm not quite ready to be transplanted just yet, but I hope that by continuing to allow myself to be nurtured by the Father, that I will flourish in my new growth, and will be strong enough to allow myself to be transplanted into this new phase of life, with growth that others can see.  I hope that wherever God plants me, that I will be able to grow and blossom and be a testament to God's amazing love, grace, mercy and healing.