Weeds

Merriam Webster's definition of "weed" "1. a plant that is not valued where it is growing and is usually of vigorous growth; especially : one that tends to overgrow or choke out more desirable plants 2. an obnoxious growth.

Weeds pop up when we don't want them. Without proper treatment, they will totally take over a yard or flower bed. Believe me, I know firsthand. This summer you could have nicknamed me the "Lazy Gardener" and you would be right. I wasn't diligent, and with the exception of my container plants, my yard has suffered this year. I chose to pick my battles, and the flowerbeds and well manicured yard weren't on the list this year. I did the required maintenance work, and that was all. The result: a mowed lawn, but one that has weeds popping up instead of just a soft green carpet of healthy grass, and beautiful containers but a messy bed of perennials. When I realized that weeds grow much faster than grass, and that I just couldn't mow fast enough, I finally stopped turning on the sprinkler mid summer.

This morning as I was reading during my quiet time, I came across an article entitled "Don't Water the Weeds". This particular article was written for divorce recovery, but it got me to thinking about all the different types of weeds I've had in my life over the years.

Our weeds can be tied to relationships, past failures, disappointments, bad habits, low self esteem, weaknesses or sin.

The "short" list for me - not finishing my college degree (low self esteem and in MY mind...a personal failure), struggle with my weight (low self esteem again), relationships that weren't always healthy, and most recently, my divorce. Years ago in my teen years, I struggled with gossip and a sarcastic sense of humor...two very bad habits that could be hurtful to others. I also had at times a tendency towards a rebellious nature that could lead to bad decisions - ending in bad consequences.

I'm learning not to dwell on those negatives...that is akin to "watering the weeds". If my focus is on the negative, it will choke out the positive. I also have learned that my soul needs tending to. And just as it is with my yard and flowerbeds where an unexpected weed can pop up seemingly out of nowhere, I am realizing that my mind and my soul need to be re-examined on a regular basis so that the weeds don't pop up unexpectedly. If I don't pull out the weed when it is tiny and easy to remove, it will grow quickly and spread like wildfire. Pretty soon, my soul can end up as messy as my bed of perennials. I'm going to intentionally work on my mind, heart and soul....I don't want to water the weeds in my life.

Looking Ahead, Not Back

Each morning across my email comes a message from "Real Simple: Daily Thought". I read them each morning, somedays it doesn't really hit me, but on somedays, the message is a real gem. Today's real simple message WAS a gem for me:

"Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror."

I'm not quite sure I actually agree with it 100%, but I do agree with the overall message. And this morning, it was a good message for me to hear. It's hard not to look in the rearview mirror of my life right now. I miss the family that was. And yet, I DO trust that God has a plan for my future, and that the plan is a good one. But I'm human, and I have times where instead of looking forward, I find myself looking backwards and dwelling on what was.

Looking backwards can be good....reminiscing over good times is great, reflecting over bad times can be helpful if we learn something from those times. But if we get too focused on what we are leaving, we are probably going to miss the things ahead.

I really don't want to miss anything. On any road there are going to pitfalls, detours or roadblocks. I need to be focused and alert for those when I come to them. There are also going to be new adventures, new relationships, and beautiful things to see on the way. I certainly don't want to miss those!

So this morning I am praying for renewed focus. That I will look through the windshield of my life. If I glance in the rearview mirror, let it just be a quick look back or if it's longer, that it be for something I need to remember. And let me get back to looking through the windshield quickly. As far as I've come, I certainly don't want to wreck, miss a turn, or veer off course now!

Two Way Street

One thing that is amazing about encouragement is that it is a two way street. If we choose to be encouragers to those around us, we are assured of God's blessing. When we open our eyes and hearts to people, pay attention to what is going on in their lives, and respond to God's urging of encouragement (you know, that little tap on the shoulder or nudging in your heart) we are showing God that we care about His children. That makes our Father smile.

Usually I have found that people are open to encouragement. Sometimes, however, there is so much pain or anger that they aren't quite ready, so we make ourselves vulnerable when we reach out. The initial reaction to our encouragement may not be well received...but God will still find a way to bless us for our effort.

Sometimes an amazing thing happens, and that is when we are encouraging to another, the person we reached out to ends up encouraging us right back. That is what happened to me last night with a friend, and it was, in the words of another friend, truly "a God thing". The two-way street in action. We both felt lifted up and loved.

Today I am thankful for encouragement - both given and received.

New Beginnings

My house was a flurry of activity this morning as it was the first day of the new school year. Lindsey is moving up from middle school to junior high and so nerves, anticipation and curiosity were high this morning. Of course, it's not quite cool to admit to that, so when I asked about it, I got the regular 13 year old response of the "rolling of the eyes". However, the backpack was filled with new supplies last night, the "first day of school" outfit was carefully selected...which was quite a dramatic event in and of itself. School night bedtime was adhered to and even the early morning wake up went without a hitch. We picked up a friend of hers that will ride with us in the mornings, which of course, makes your first entrance into junior high so much better.

We are met with new beginnings all throughout our lives. New schools, new churches, new jobs, new relationships. Sometimes our new beginnings are the result of endings. New beginnings fill us with a variety of emotions...anticipation, excitement, fear, dread, nervousness, sadness or happiness...the list could go on and on.

In the school line, I watched the various kids getting out of their parents' cars, some with timid steps and some with bold. It made me think of how I approach new beginnings...and I can honestly say, I've done both.

Linds hopped out of the car, threw her backpack over her shoulders and gave me a quick smile and then never looked back. She and her girlfriend hooked up with another friend, and they walked in together. She was the exact same way in kindergarten. Gave us a quick kiss and was on her merry way.

I'm not quite ready to just "hop" right into my new beginning. My steps are a little timid at the present. But, just as Lindsey had her friends walking with her, I'm blessed to have a treasure trove of family and friends who are walking with me. And I can honestly say, that the timid steps sometimes become bolder and stronger, and I look forward eagerly to the day when these timid baby steps are totally gone.

Today I am grateful for:

1. New beginnings

2. People who care enough to encourage your steps and walk with you when needed

3. Learning from my girls...they both continually teach me lessons in life, and they don't even know it!

Moving Forward

As you know if you read my blog or are in my life in any other way, I am on a journey. It's a journey that is unknown for me, and there are times I feel overwhelmed, fearful and full of worry. Actually, those are just three of many different emotions that sometimes assault me.

My faith has grown so much deeper and stronger as a result of the journey I am on. However, the growth of my faith doesn't stop the worries and fears that can pop up in the middle of the day or night.

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned is to not allow myself to get stuck during these times, but to simply keep moving forward. Putting one foot in front of the other, even if I don't quite know what direction I am heading. Not to say that I have never BEEN stuck, because I have. But I'm learning to avoid that, and if I do find myself stuck, to get out of it quickly. Again, put one foot in front of the other.

God hasn't given me a crystal ball to see into my future (and not for lack of asking on my part). He simply tells me to trust and to move forward.

I can't see what's ahead of me, and it's hard not to get distracted with all the emotional upheaval and the practical worries around me.

But everytime I do trust and move forward, I find that He is there. He has already gone ahead of me.

Today I am grateful for:

1. Moving forward

2. Not getting stuck...at least for not too long.

3. Knowing that God is going before me.