It's Sunday night, and my family has always said that I seem to get the "Sunday Night Blues". My mood does tend to get gloomy a bit (sometimes alot) as I realize my weekend is drawing to an end, and the business of a work week is looming ahead.
I've been fortunate enough to have 5 days off with the Christmas holidays, and this upcoming week will be another short week. It's been a very good week with family, and so I have nothing to be blue about. And yet, my mood still changed.
Tonight I've had time to be alone and enjoy the quiet. Andy is on duty, Linds is spending the night with a friend, and Casie is playing games with a group of her friends. I'm okay being alone, I actually enjoy it at times. I like to indulge in old black and white movies, read a good novel or catch up on emails to my distant friends. But for some reason tonight, I've felt a little lonely and so I've tried to busy myself with laundry. Doing the laundry is a necessary task (and a sometimes daunting one at our home) but it hasn't chased away the loneliness or the blues tonight.
So I began to reflect on the last year and I'm realizing that I've done alot of growing, and yet, there is still so much growing to do. I've worked on relationships, and there is still work to be done. I was doing a pretty good job in the self-improvement area, and then I became too engrossed in the busyness of daily life, and have neglected myself again. The steps I was taking to be healthy - emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally - I've let them all take a back seat to "things" that have had to be done and dealt with. Obviously, one of life's challenges it to successfully handle both the normal routines of life and still somehow manage to put one's own well being a priority. Maybe that's why I have the Sunday night blues tonight....I'm realizing that I've let myself down again.
One thing I have learned this year is to not STAY down. When I fall, I shall get back up. When I stumble, I will catch myself and stand upright again. Actually, I need to rephrase that. When I fall, God will get me back up. When I stumble, He will catch me and upright me. I cannot lose sight of the fact that I can do nothing on my own, but can do ALL things THROUGH HIM who strengthens me.
So I'm going to "regroup" tonight. I shall continue to do the laundry, (sigh) but only because clean underwear and clothes are a priority. But as I do the laundry, I'll smile. And I'll do some things this evening that are positive and good for myself. I'm going to continue to reflect on the past year....and recognize the Lord's blessings, guidance and faithfulness in my life. I will acknowledge both the good and the bad in my life, and I will not let the bad weigh me down. I will start this next week off on the right foot....I'll put the Lord first, making my time with Him my first priority. I know from experience that when I do this, all the other relationships, challenges, and things seem to somehow fall into place. I'll do healthy things for myself, and will encourage myself when I succeed. When I fail, I'll acknowledge that failure, but I won't wallow in it.
Maybe, just maybe, some week, on a Sunday night, I'll realize that I don't have the Sunday night blues. Maybe, just maybe, on some Sunday night in the future, I'll be able to look back at the previous week and think "well done" and look to the upcoming week with joyful anticipation.
