Knocked Down, But Not Out

Today, I had an incident happen in which I was pretty much knocked down. Not literally, but emotionally. It was a very hurtful situation, and done by someone once very close to me. It pretty much had me in a "funk" most of the day, and then I just now read something that has helped me pick myself back up, dust myself off, breathe deeply and smile.

The author was relating life to those punching bags that bounce back after they are punched or knocked down. The key to being able to bounce back is to not do it on your strength, but to allow God to lift you back up.

Life can be tough...even brutal at times. Relationships, events, illness, circumstances, and so on can punch us hard in the gut and before we know it, we've been knocked down....the breath taken out of us. But we need to breathe deeply...inhale God's strength, and allow the Lord to help us bounce back.

When I was reading this article, I thought of an old Bozo punching bag I played with as a kid. I was googling images of the punching bag, when I found the one I posted here, the brand "Everlast". So much more fitting for God's strength than the image of a Bozo punching bag, don't you think?

So...I have decided to visualize this Everlast punching bag the next time I am knocked down by someone or something. And I'm going to smile...because God isn't going to let me stay down. And that is a wonderful feeling!

New Path

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." Douglas Adams

When I married 23 years ago, I fully intended for it to be a one time event. I never foresaw that my marriage would be one of the many that end in divorce. I never thought our family would shatter.

However, it did. Wounds have been inflicted and lives forever altered. But, through the miracle of God's faithfulness and grace....we are beginning to heal.

We never intended to go down this road, but here we are. On a journey that has included alot of pain, but also an incredible amount of love and hope.

The old and familiar is being replaced with the new and the unknown. Some relationships are transforming, being introduced...others are staying the same in their faithfulness even in the face of change, but with renewed commitment to the continuation of always "being there" for one another.

No...I would not have chosen a path this painful. I would've avoided the storms of life if I could have. But without pain, there is no healing. Without trials, blessings are often not recognized. Without the understanding of loss, there is no compassion. Without failures, successess go unnoticed. Again, I would not have chosen to go down this path. But now that I have, I realize this is where I need to be. Hopefully...a person with a deeper love, understanding and compassion for those around me. Hopefully, a more faithful servant to my Lord. Hopefully, a better mother, daughter, sister, friend and woman... this much improved emotional and spiritual place is exactly where I intended to be.

Encouragement

I love the way that God knows what we need even before we do sometimes. I woke up this morning in a great mood, full of optimism and eager to start the day. I didn't really know I would need encouragement this day (although I'm a big believer in the power of encouragement and would never think that I didn't need it).

However, all throughout this day, I have been blessed by the people around me. I had wonderful conversations with both of my daughters, I had a call from a person dear to my heart, I was encouraged and uplifted by two different blogs that I follow, I received uplifting words via text, facebook posts, emails and good old fashioned snail mail. A couple of unexpected acts of kindness today brought me to tears. Work was rewarding, demanding and full of laughter today, conversations shared with my best friend and coworker, as well as my boss.

I almost began to get suspicious...wondering "what was up"...which makes me chuckle now. Because I realize that what was up is that my Heavenly Father was letting me know that it is okay to be happy again.

Over the last year, I have really experienced the difference between joy and happiness...something I've always known, but I have lived it this past year. Happiness is circumstantial usually...joy is the calm and serenity we feel even in the midst of a storm. I have had lots of joy on my journey, but the happiness, while not gone, has been harder to come by. There are even times I feel guilty when I find some happiness, because I had grown accustomed to the pain.

God knew when I woke up this morning that I needed this extra dose of "happy" today....and so, even though I was in the best of moods, He prompted so many people to reach out to me, and they responded.

Good friends, good family, good words, good deeds....all blessings from my Wonderful Lord. May I always be open to responding to God's nudging of me when encouragement is needed by those that I love.

Changes

It's been almost a full year since my last post, although I do this for myself, since I'm not a huge blog follower, nor do I have "followees".



My life the past year has been tumultuous and full of changes within my family. While writing is therapeutic for me, the changes have been too personal to share with anyone. I have journaled on paper, and for my eyes only the past year.



Changes, even the dreaded ones, are frightening and scarey. The breaking up of a family is tragic. But it has happened in our home, and after a very dark period, I feel optimistic, hopeful and I know I am on a path of peace and healing.



If I could have "do overs" in life, I would do many things differently. I won't list those here...but I will say that I am so thankful for the healing grace and love of my Savior, for my two beautiful daughters, for my extended family and my precious friends.

There will be continued pain with this new journey of life, I'm sure. But I'm also sure of continued healing and hope for our future.