Nothing in my life seems stable right now....although when I actually stop to reflect on that statement, I can see that I need to restate. ALOT in my life is changing, and unstable.
What is constant is God's amazing grace, mercy and love for me. He just continues to pour it down over my head.
Another constant....the love that flows between my daughters and me. They are my greatest joy on earth.
And yet....another constant....the love and support of the fabulous friends I have.
Maybe I should rename this blog "My Constants"????
But it really is true that my life is changing...I am seeking to redefine myself and rediscover myself. I am transitioning from wife to single woman. In mid-life. A scary and daunting venture...but God is holding my hand.
My oldest daughter transitioned this summer from coming home to staying at UCA fulltime. I wasn't quite prepared for that. It seems as if she is gone permanently, although she comes home alot. For which I am thankful.
My youngest daughter is changing from pre-teen to full blown teenager. Well, she is 13....in her eyes, a full blown teenager. She keeps reminding me of the ability to get her permit next year.
My health is changing...I recently was diagnosed as A.D.D....yep, in my late 40s. (I'm always late...so this would be typical for me) I started meds today, and could already tell a difference in my focus. I'm hoping my disorganized mind vastly improves.
My financial status has changed...the pending divorce leaves me with alot of worry and concern over being responsible for so much. I have to take deep breaths....and tell myself "God knows my needs".
Casie, my oldest, has a health issue that is a big change for her. I won't share that just now...it's hers to share. And although it's going to be okay, it will mean a daily medication for her and some changes in her life.
My attitude is changing....I find myself becoming more peaceful and happy. This is a result of healing.
My activities and interests are changing...I feel the need to broaden my activities and relationships.
My walk with the Lord is changing....my personal family crisis has made me rely on God in a deeper way than ever before. I've learned to say "Here.....it's in YOUR hands". I have realized that giving up control is hard....but comes with such huge blessings.
My self confidence is changing....I am moving (maybe 2 steps forward, 3 steps back...but still...) into a place where I am confident...confident that I am a child of the King and that I AM LOVED. Being rejected took a huge toll on me, and feeling discarded and unloved as well as unloveable kept me in a pit. I am emerging.
Today, I am grateful for:
1. Changes.
2. Growth
3. Constants
