Everyone goes through pain in their life at some point or another, and most of us, if not all, will experience a broken heart at some point. Our hearts can break for reasons other than a failed relationship or, in my case, marriage. In all honesty, I was dreading this day. I've always been a sappy sentimentalist when it comes to Valentine's Day. I'm a sucker for a card, fresh flowers...and I drool at the sight of chocolate. (and yes, I'm wiping Dove chocolate from the corner of my mouth as I type) I love the candlelight dinners, the ooey gooey poetry and all that stuff. I was proposed to on Valentines Day way back in what seems like the ancient year of 1985, and it was a wonderfully romantic proposal, so my brain kept dredging up THAT memory. All in all, my normally chipper mood began to darken...and I found myself wanting to smash every heart and Cupid that I began to see this month.
However, in my continual endeavor to be proactive and not let my moods or feelings dictate my life, I decided to embrace Valentine's Day this year. I decorated my mantle in the living room with red candles, made a pretty nice silk arrangement of gorgeous red flowers (if I do say so myself), brought out the decorations I've used in the past, hung my small Valentines garden flag in the front, and placed a heart wreath on the porch. On the days I didn't want to smash my red and pink items, I found them to be rather happy looking. And I began to remind myself that love IS something I enjoy in my life, and I plan on keeping it there.
I may not currently have a soulmate or romantic love in my life, and I'm not sure, in all honesty, if I'll find that again. I hope I do. But....regardless of that status, I am blessed...because I AM LOVED AND I DO STILL LOVE.
I am totally in love with motherhood, and with my girls. I have the love of parents, a grandmother, siblings, sister in law, brother in law and awesome nieces and nephews that bring me immense joy. I have friends that absolutely rock my world. I have so many amazing people in my life, and I treasure the chance to love them and be loved in return.
Most of all, I have the love of my Heavenly Father...who has so tenderly and gently caught every tear that I cried, held me in His gentle, yet strong and sheltering Hands. I was broken, but I am healing. I'm not all the way there yet...but that's okay. I've learned it's a journey more than a destination. And yes, I'm still loving.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
