I'm not a runner (and those of you who know me can stop rolling on the floor at this understatement) but I do have alot of friends who enjoy running. Seems that most of them who start off running for exercise end up doing the 5k, 10k marathon things. My brother has even done triathalons and I think one 26k. The concept of these marathons blows my hammock loving mind. But I have the utmost respect for these friends of mine, and anyone who attempts and accomplishes this kind of feat.
One thing I do know about running a marathon is that the runners pace themselves in order to finish. I've been thinking alot about pacing lately.
My journey of healing has been a marathon of sorts. It has been long, tiring, and taken more determination and perserverance than I ever knew I was capable of. Sometimes I feel like I see the finish line in the distance, and then something happens, and I have a setback. Or I think to myself "Did someone just MOVE the finish line?"
One common thing that I have heard over and over from some very wise people who have had to go through healing of some sort is that I CANNOT rush myself through this. If I try to cross that finish line before I am totally healed, it will come back sometime later in my future and I'll just have to deal with it again. So, I'm learning to pace myself. I feel that sometimes people around me who care so deeply are anxious for me to stop hurting, and I understand that. I hate seeing the people I care about in any kind of pain as well. I'm ready to stop hurting also.
But I am good...I am going the distance. It IS a marathon. I don't know how long it's going to take. But with every step, I'm closer. I'm not going to rush through because I'm tired of it, or because I think it will make others happier around me if I finish. When I cross that finish line, I want it to be for good. I don't want to be sent back later to do it all over.
I'm normally an impatient person...I want quick results. One thing (out of many) that God is showing me about myself during this time, is that some things are worth the wait. Some things in life need to be taken slow. This marathon is one of those things. So...yep, I'm pacing myself, and realizing that it is okay to do just that.
