Yesterday, one of my dearest friends in the world, Mark Baber, spoke at our worship service. Mark is my former BSU director from my college days, my former pastor, and one of my best friends and one of my all-time favorite persons in this world. He is real, he is transparent, and he exudes grace and mercy.
Mark is also an alcoholic. Going on 11 years of sobriety now. What a personal achievement and what an amazing story of God's grace and redemption as he has gone from a shattered life a few years ago to a life of victory.
Mark's alcoholism was at a time when he was my pastor. When the alcoholism became public, you can imagine all the fallout that occurred. Long story short, Mark went to a rehab center in Atlanta for several weeks, came back and has been active in AA ever since. His wife, Janie, another of my most precious and treasured friends in life, is active in Al-Anon.
Although his ministerial career at my former church was no longer to be, God had other plans for Mark. His and Janie's ministry has simply changed....they have very successful careers - Mark has risen high in the insurance industry and Janie is a wonderful educator. But their ministry is now helping others with addictions.
Okay...that's a little of Mark's background. So much of his story yesterday impacted me...although I already knew his story. He is eloquent, thoughtful and thought provoking when he speaks. I am like a sponge...always soaking up his words.
What spoke to me the most yesterday was when he said that his actions had changed God's "Plan A" for his life. But thankfully, God is a God of second and third chances, and so on. And God's "Plan B" for his life wasn't half bad (that's Mark's dry sense of humor). I sat in the choir loft, and realized....it's okay that my life isn't turning out as I planned. Plan A was for my marriage to stay intact, for my girls to never know the pain of their parents divorcing. But...Plan B, as long as it is God's plan, is going to be okay! It's going to be good!
I can't tell you how in adequate words how Mark living out Plan B has impacted others. Having been successful in ministry, hitting the bottom with his alcoholism, and God bringing him out of the pit and into a life of grace and a different ministry has been amazing to watch. Mark always reminds everyone that we are all the walking wounded.
After church, I went out to lunch with Mark and Janie, and Barry and Vicki. I hugged him really tightly when we were leaving the restaurant and told him that Plan B was where I am at now, and thanked him for his words. He hugged me back, smiling and said "It is what it is. It's messed up Tracy, but it won't be forever. And as I said, Plan B ain't half bad" with that wry grin of his.
I am so thankful that God blesses us and uses us in spite of our failures and weaknesses. In spite of the fact that we get off track and make bad choices in life. In spite of the fact that we break away from Plan A....He is there to welcome us back with a Plan B.
I fought hard for our marriage, but the damage was done. We each have issues that tore us apart. One of us wanted to stay, one of us wanted to leave. Further bad choices were made at that point. What's done is done. It is what it is. A shattered family. Lots of wounds and pain....lots of healing and grace that has already been poured out and continues to pour. Plan A is over. I am now looking to God for Plan B. Because I really want that to be HIS plan, and not one of my own design. That is the key.
Today, I am grateful for:
1. Thought provoking friends.
2. Good books to read this summer....I am rediscovering my love for reading. It's an intentional goal, as I find myself with a little more "alone time" when the girls are with their dad.
3. Mornings. I love mornings. They are full of promise.
