I'm in a very contemplative mood this morning...thinking...reflecting...praying. I'm in a situation where I find myself extremely disappointed in someone that I expect more out of. Someone whom I am watching make one bad decision after another. Someone who is making me question who they REALLY are.
Have you ever wondered if you really knew a person? Someone who was once very close to you, or maybe still is? Someone who you watch self-destruct before your very eyes, and there is nothing you can do? Someone whose actions are having a domino effect on alot of lives around them, and yet, it's like they can't see through the fog to get a clear vision of how they are paying it forward.
I love the phrase "pay it forward"...and I loved that movie when it came out a few years ago. I'm forever telling my girls to pay it forward, and to think about WHAT IT IS that you are paying forward. In some ways, it's the golden rule simply restated..."Do Unto Others As You Would Have Done Unto You". Put forth kindness, and you will receive kindness. Put forth neglect, and you will receive neglect. And so on and so on. The other side to it, besides the return you will yield, is that when there is no other way to pay back a kindness done unto you, say a thank you by paying it forward.
Anyway....the person who is heavy on my heart this morning is paying it forward in a negative way. And it breaks my heart, and is tearing at my soul. All I know to do is to continue to show grace towards this person, and to lay this person at the foot of the Cross.
There you go...I think that may be my first "sad" blog ever. I have a hard time writing when I am sad. Well, I write, but more in a prayer journal instead of on here. But for now, my blogging is therapeutic for me, and so I am becoming a little more real in what is going on in my life, and at the same, very cautious of what I say, since this is a public venue.
This morning I am grateful for:
1. Sleep. I hope to get some later...lol. Insomnia struck AGAIN last night...I couldn't turn my brain off.
2. The relationship of sisters. I am very close to my own sister, and I treasure talking with her. We had a great talk yesterday. And I look at my own daughters, and I see such a deep and close relationship between them (and yes, they do argue). They are spending time together this week at Casie's apartment, and it makes me feel good inside.
3. My new online Bible study. I am participating for the first time ever in an online study...it should be interesting at the least. We are studying the Book of Ruth, and it is going to be a very powerful study for me at this point in my life...I can already tell.
