Well, it's a little after midnite on Saturday, and I should be in bed since we are leaving in the morning heading back home. It's a long 8 hour drive, but I'm not quite ready to hit the hay just yet.
I'm going through that wistful nostalgic feeling of not wanting to head back to home...to reality...to work...to the struggles and stress. But I AM more than ready to give my Lindsey a big ol' bear hug. It's a weird feeling traveling with only part of your family, and not the whole.
I'm learning and RE-learning ('cause I'm slow in this area) just how much of life is about changes, transitions and loss. I'm having to be flexible more than ever in my life...it's all about giving up control...my OWN control...trusting God to take the reins and lead.
Giving up control is hard...loss is hard....the changes and transitions vary from hard to tolerable to getting easier. I'm also at the point where I'm embracing many of the changes, and that is exciting.
Today I am grateful for:
1. Coffee with a friend this weekend.
2. Feeling valued by people. I've been missing that emotionally in a certain area of my life....it's nice to experience it again.
3. Laughter. I know I've listed this one before...but honestly....laughter does have amazing healing power. And I've laughed ALOT on this trip.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Reconnecting
Yesterday was a day of reconnecting for me. It's always great being in my hometown....I seem to just soak up the time I get to spend with my parents, grandmother, my brother and his family. I always walk through the door, and it's as if my worries and stress are able to simply melt away for a few days.
This trip has been no different in that regard. We've laughed alot...I mean REALLY alot. Which tends to be the case. And we've had long talks at length. My life has changed drastically over the last few years, and it has been hard on my parents living 8 hours away and not being geographically closer. And as a parent, I understand that feeling they have had. However, that's probably been very good for me. As I rediscover myself on this journey of life and loss, I've had to lean on the Lord in such a profound way, and I probably would've been tempted to lean on my earthly parents more if they were closer.
But I do treasure these times when I AM able to be close to them and bask in the comfort and love of home.
But another wonderful treat happened on this trip....I've been able to reconnect with two very special people in my life. Both were very special in the past, and remain so today. One of my dearest girlfriends ever, a "heart" friend, as I like to say came to the house and picked me up for lunch. We talked, listened, shared, laughed and were serious for the next 3 hours. It's a treasure when you are able to pick up with someone after a few years, as if it has been only a few days since you talked last.
The other person I was blessed enough to reconnect with, left me with very overwhelming thoughts and emotions. It is simply a person from my past, very very special to me and it was just simply amazing to share a cup of coffee after not seeing one another for 29 years. It was simply....a very good thing.
And of course, the time with my brother, his wife and kids is always fun. The boys are so energetic and full of life....I always want to say "Gimme some of that!" Jason and Wendy are awesome parents, and I love watching the interactions between their family. I'm reminded of how quickly children grow and how much I sometimes miss those times when my girls were younger.
I'm missing Linds like crazy, and am in the mood to tell her so....but since it's 6:30 am on a Saturday morning and she would kill me if I called...I think I'll wait.
This morning I am grateful for:
1. Reconnections.
2. The comfort of a familiar embrace.
3. The inner strength I seem to gather when I am in an environment of love, support and acceptance.
This trip has been no different in that regard. We've laughed alot...I mean REALLY alot. Which tends to be the case. And we've had long talks at length. My life has changed drastically over the last few years, and it has been hard on my parents living 8 hours away and not being geographically closer. And as a parent, I understand that feeling they have had. However, that's probably been very good for me. As I rediscover myself on this journey of life and loss, I've had to lean on the Lord in such a profound way, and I probably would've been tempted to lean on my earthly parents more if they were closer.
But I do treasure these times when I AM able to be close to them and bask in the comfort and love of home.
But another wonderful treat happened on this trip....I've been able to reconnect with two very special people in my life. Both were very special in the past, and remain so today. One of my dearest girlfriends ever, a "heart" friend, as I like to say came to the house and picked me up for lunch. We talked, listened, shared, laughed and were serious for the next 3 hours. It's a treasure when you are able to pick up with someone after a few years, as if it has been only a few days since you talked last.
The other person I was blessed enough to reconnect with, left me with very overwhelming thoughts and emotions. It is simply a person from my past, very very special to me and it was just simply amazing to share a cup of coffee after not seeing one another for 29 years. It was simply....a very good thing.
And of course, the time with my brother, his wife and kids is always fun. The boys are so energetic and full of life....I always want to say "Gimme some of that!" Jason and Wendy are awesome parents, and I love watching the interactions between their family. I'm reminded of how quickly children grow and how much I sometimes miss those times when my girls were younger.
I'm missing Linds like crazy, and am in the mood to tell her so....but since it's 6:30 am on a Saturday morning and she would kill me if I called...I think I'll wait.
This morning I am grateful for:
1. Reconnections.
2. The comfort of a familiar embrace.
3. The inner strength I seem to gather when I am in an environment of love, support and acceptance.
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