As I sit in my favorite spot early on this Sunday morning, I am smiling. It's quiet in the house....the dogs have been let outside, and I'm the only one awake. Both girls are sleeping...yes, BOTH girls.
Linds was at the football game Friday night with some friends, and I was talking on the phone to Casie, my oldest. We were talking about her plans for the night, and she had told me she was planning on just "chilling" at home. We had a nice long talk, and ended our conversation in the usual way "Love you - talk with you soon". Imagine my surprise when she walked through our front door! I thought "chilling at home" meant heading back to her apartment where she lives 2 hours away. My mouth hit the floor and she was grinning widely that she had managed to pull off a surprise over us.
She told me that she came home because she felt I had been through a rough week, and she just wanted to be here. My daughter wanting to encourage and uplift me, the mother. It was one of those moments when you realize that your child has grown into an adult, and a caring adult at that.
I wasn't exactly aware that I had communicated with her that it had been a rough week, but somehow, she read that between the words in our many conversations we have during the course of a week, and she just wanted to come home. It has been a very different kind of week for me. I think when Casie walked through the door Friday night, I realized that we were going to be okay as a family....better than okay, we are going to be good.
One of my greatest fears and worries, is how my daughters are going to fare with our family changing. It's a very valid concern.....the impact that divorce has on children, whether they are minor or adult, is significant to say the least. I hate that my girls are going through this. But when she came home Friday night, simply wanting to support her mother and spend time with her sister, I realized that I am blessed. You see, Casie gets it. I want our family to be one of love, encouragement, acceptance, a mixture of tenderness and grit, sharing with one another, and supporting one another. We can get on one another's nerves, we can argue, we can be selfish at times....we are human and extremely normal. But more than that....we love, accept, support and encourage one another.
Casie and I jumped in my car and we drove to the church where the teenagers were hanging out at the 5th Quarter Club after the football game. I called Linds on her cell and asked her to come out to the car. She wanted to know why of course, and I just said I was coming by to say "hi". Pretty lame in retrospect, but I didn't know what else to say. I could hear her say "okay?" in a confused tone. She and a friend walked out to the car, saw Casie in the passenger seat and the look on her face was priceless when she saw her big sis. She begged Casie to come inside and say hi to her friends. Although tired from a day of class, work, and driving, Casie obliged. I stayed in the car so the sisters could have their moment. And I smiled.....we are good.
We haven't done anything special this weekend. We kept the secret that she was home from their dad until Saturday. He thought Linds was coming over to watch the Razorback game with on Saturday, and opened the door to find them both there. I know his face was just as thrilled and surprised as mine was. It's still hard getting used to sharing their time individually, instead of sharing time as a traditional family....it's not the way it supposed to be. But, it's the way it is for us, and we are coping better each time. While they were gone, I watched the game myself and stayed busy in the kitchen cooking. I baked cookies and made a pot of chicken and dumplings - a meal my girls love. Casie has studied this weekend, Linds and I had to go to a softball event for a little while, and then we just rented a chick flick. As I said, we haven't done anything special. But as I've aged, I learn more and more that it's not "doing" of special things you cherish....it's just the regular ordinary times of being together.
