It's Saturday morning, and I'm propped up in bed, with the house quiet around me. I've had time to do a little reflecting this morning. Last night I was at a surprise birthday party for one of my dearest friends. His wife had planned the whole thing very well, and the party was at the home of other dear friends. There were about 30 people and the guest of honor was surprised and it was a huge hit. I laughed and enjoyed being there....I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else last night.
And yet....I found myself wistful and sad that my separated spouse wasn't there. Alot of the guests last night were people we've had a long history with. Four of them (including the birthday boy, er, 50 year old man) were our dearest friends. I was the only single person there, and it was just an odd feeling. One I am having to get used to, but not quite there yet. I seemed to be extra observant of the spouse who would go bring his/her partner a drink refill,or ask if they wanted something extra from the buffet. I miss alot of little things like that. I found myself sad and even a little angry at him that he wasn't there to be a part of the laughter and celebration.
When the party was winding down and guests were saying goodnight, I walked to the car and then got inside and shed a few tears on the way home. The tears didn't last long, but they felt better just being released.
I was reading this morning in a book that I've really enjoyed "Walking with God on the Road You Never Wanted to Travel". It's a book I am taking my time reading, because I am really reflective and writing alot as I read it. I started a new chapter this morning called "Detours". And I realized...last night was simply a small detour on my road of healing. I have had many moments of missing my husband and married life, and I know I will have some more on this journey. As long as I can recognize them for what they are, and continue to go to my Heavenly Father for healing, I will go through these detours and come out okay on the other end.
I'm glad it's Saturday, that I've been to be a little lazy this morning and have this time of quiet reflection and renewal.
Casie came home for the weekend last night...that's always a good thing. She and I have plans later this afternoon to head to Memphis and just spend an evening together. Lindsey and every other 13 year old girl in town is pumped up for the "Justin Bieber" concert in Memphis tonight, and the young teenage world is buzzing in our small southern town. We'll be helping her pick out just the PERFECT jeans and tshirt for the concert, I am sure. Thankfully, another mom is actually attending the concert and I don't have to. I haven't quite acquired "Bieber fever" yet.
Time to move on from being propped up in bed to my feet hitting the floor and beginning this day.
Today I am grateful for:
1. Friends and celebrations.
2. Detours, reflections and healing.
3. Time with my girls.
