Happy Labor Day readers! I haven't blogged since May 2012....that's a long time. I wish I could say it was because I had taken a refreshing and exotic sabbatical somewhere exciting, but no. Nothing exciting, nothing traumatic, nothing even slightly dramatic. I just haven't felt like writing. Weird, huh? To enjoy writing and to not even want to do it for over a year. I've been tossing the idea of picking up pen, er, keyboard, after encouragement from some friends and family. But just wasn't feeling it until today. I'm not sure what has changed, but there you go...I'm at least writing today. Or maybe writing is stretching it...just putting jumbled thoughts into jumbled words is what it feels like sometimes.
I feel like I'm one of the few people in my small town not swimming in a lake or pool or dove hunting today. I'm relaxing at home with a ton of laundry. woohoo! I hope your Labor Day is a tad (or alot!) more fun than mine. Since my oldest daughter is working at the hospital today, I shan't complain of my underwhelming day off. I've had teenage girls in and out of my home all week, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I think I thrive on the chaos. I realize that time slips by so quickly, and before you know it, my baby will be away at college, and the silence will be deafening here. So I'm enjoying never knowing who will walk through my door at any given time.
Maybe you think the first part of my blog title, "Three Dog Night..." refers to my beloved three canines. Most days I would say yes, but today, I was actually listening to Three Dog Night (can you say throwback?) and reflecting on the lyrics to "One is the Loneliest Number". For those younger than me, the beginning goes "One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do, two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one". I've been thinking about loneliness. It's a recurring theme in my life right now. And not just because I'm single. Single people do NOT have the cornerstone on loneliness. Some of my loneliest moments have been with one or more people. Can I hear an amen? We all have seasons of loneliness in our lives. You can be lonely in your marriage, lonely in your job, your church, your group of friends. I do happen to be divorced and single, which does contribute to alot of the loneliness I feel. But I can't blame my relationship status on this season of loneliness. This morning, I was reading out of a book entitled "When Women Walk Alone", and as I was working through some of the questions, I realized that alot of my loneliness stems from the restlessness I feel within my own life and soul. I'm 50....a great age for reflection. My life hasn't turned out like I dreamed it would be...but isn't that the case for many of us? At different ages and stages of life? Don't get me wrong...I love life. I treasure those in my life, I relish the good times, I've learned through the bad times. My life often is full and rich. But loneliness is an inevitable part of life. I would imagine that my friends who have gone through rehabilitation for addictions, battled cancer, widowhood, divorce, the stress of a new job or moving to a new city, worrying about a rebellious child, supporting a depressed spouse, being caretaker to an aging parent, sick child or spouse, the list could go on and on. How many teenagers feel alone in a crowded high school hallway? Maybe you just march to a different beat than "the norm" (whatever THAT is) or you haven't found your calling or niche in life, and it seems everyone else has. This bible study book isn't written for single women, it addresses the lonely seasons of life we go through. One of the sentences I read this morning: "Look at loneliness as a part of life, and at the seasons of aloneness as the pieces of one big puzzle designed to make us long for God." Ouch. I haven't exactly been using this season to long for God in a deeper way. Remember when your teacher gave you busy work in school? We've all done that word search or crossword puzzle without thinking. That's what I've been guilty of...filling the void without thinking. For some of us, we fill the void with a substance or relationships. For me, I tend to lean towards too many activities and food (the food issue can be an entire different blog). I allow work, motherhood, shopping, lunches with friends, volunteering to do this or that, errands, reading, even chores and laundry to try and fill the void. The busier I am, the more I sometimes think the void is filled. So, I've decided that I need to think a little more...not just any ol' thinking...but to dwell on the One who made me. I need to ask God to fill the void in these alone moments. What can I learn? What is He trying to show me or teach me? What am I missing when I simply fill these moments with activities?
So this morning, I listened to Three Dog Night as I drank my coffee, and when I put my book away, I pulled out my Bible and went to 1 John 5:14-15....the verses that reassure us that whatever we ask according to His will, He hears. I asked God to fill my void. I asked Him to show me what I am supposed to learn in this season. I still have busy activites today...that's unavoidable. My dryer buzzer is about to go off, I have supplies laid out for a fall craft project, I have a meal to prepare later today. However, my challenge for myself is to learn from this season, and to long more for the One who made. me.
2 comments:
Lovely, thoughtful post my friend. I, too, can't seem to pick up the steam to want to blog again. It was such an important part of my daily life for SO long, and I so enjoyed it, so what happened? Not sure either. Lonely seems to be somewhat common for me these days too, though it's a different kind of lonely. That would be a good blog post... some day. Love you.
Glad you are writin again. I've missed it!
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